Romantic Love

Romantic love is a veritable obsession in Western culture. Other cultures often see romance as a mild neurosis; we, however, elevate it to a level unheard of elsewhere. We believe romantic love should be the basis of a marital choice, something non-Western cultures find almost laughable. But most important, we embue it with almost magical power. We believe it will sustain and strengthen a marriage; in reality it is a rather fragile and volatile bond. While it certainly adds pleasure and texture, it is hardly the core and the strength of a union.

The articles below explore some facets of this most unique and enjoyable human experience.

While it may seem unromantic to do so, social scientists can identify the typical phases through which romantic love passes as it matures from mild infatuation to full fledged romantic obsession. This article defines the states and may provide a unique perspective on your experience of falling in love.  

There are a variety of rule sets that float around in our culture. Any particular person may appeal to one or the other in guiding their actions. The rule sets are unconscious, but they shape experience nonetheless. And when the two players in a relationship appeal to different rule sets, the chances for conflict are greatly increased.

Since we often base huge decisions on this emotion (and since we are often wrong), it is worth considering how we could test our feelings before we act on them.

Knowing how to survive rejection may not seem like a good skill for someone anticipating a love relationship, but the fear of it is often enough to dissuade us from the very behaviors that will strengthen the relationship. Knowing how to survive rejection may make you more courageous ... and less likely to be rejected!