Emotional Intimacy

Being known well, whether or not you are liked

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Emotional intimacy is the most elusive of our four components. Yet it defines the boundaries of the relationship. Those rare moments when we allow ourselves to be transparent to our partner are the ones that we remember as the essence of the relationship. In moments of courage or desperation, we take the risk to reveal our deepest fears, fantasies, and angers. We abandon our normal desires to "look good" or "be liked" and seek, instead, to just be known.

There are two articles in this section.

Intimacy, like friendship, comes in more than one flavor.  Unlike friendship, which ranges over an ordered series from less to more intense friendships, intimacy is much less neat.

Like friendship, however, there are potential strains in the relationship when two people have conflicting understandings of the type of relationship they are sharing together. This article describes the different types and how they might conflict.
 

Emotional intimacy often requires a special effort. It is a fluent skill for probably less than 20% of the population. Nonetheless, it is that elusive "something" that we all miss when it is absent. This article describes the special effort required and how it leads to a sense of intimacy unachievable by any other route.